Friday, December 30, 2005

Stuff Of The Year

It's the end of the year (crumbs, this one has gone quickly), so I feel duty bound to force my views upon you! Best stuff of the year coming up, but first, here are the things that have been rubbish/ boring/ repulsive...

Family Guy: The Movie - How someone can turn a pant-wettingly hilarious and offensive cartoon into 75 minutes of puerile crap is beyond me. A clip show consisting of Quagmire quotes would have been more entertaining. More disappointing than when Father Christmas gave me a Duplo car instead of the Lego pirate ship I asked for (I think it was to punish me for stealing a Ghostbusters toy from one of my best friends).

The Fantastic Four - Without a shadow of a doubt, THE WORST film I have ever seen. No plot, hints of paedophilia, and the most embarassing set of dialogue ever written. Not even the considerable charms of Miss Alba could save this car crash of a film. Catch it in bargain bins everywhere now!

The Killers - Everytime I hear them I fell like my ears have been mugged. There's no need for them to exist. Obvious & predictable tunes, terrible singing and elevated self-esteem are just three of the ten thousand reasons why they should be covered in snow and displayed as snowmen rather than being hailed by the NME as "perfect pop". "I've got soul but I'm not a soldier"? What are they trying to say? That you don't have to be a soldier to have soul? I would have thought that was pretty bloody obvious. Also, there's no need to repeat this 100 times. We got it the first time, thanks. You're sh*t.

Crazy Frog - I don't think I'll start ranting because it could go on for a while... ah but I can't help myself... Crazy Frog is a cancer on this planet and should be placed in ringtone hell where he belongs. I'm not sure if I'm more outraged by the fact that companies made money from this nonsense, or by the f*cking stupid people who paid £2 to hear a frog with a speech impediment to shout meaningless crap from their pockets, annoying everything with ears within a 20 metre radius. Argh.

OK, enough. Onto the good stuff...

Great new albums from Bright Eyes, Sufjan Stevens, Low, ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead, Joy Zipper, Roots Manuva, Sigur Rós, The Go! Team, The Mountain Goats, The New Pornographers, Antony & The Johnsons and Caribou to name a few.

Great films included Batman Begins, Sin City & Charlie And The Chocolate Factory. Mmm... I haven't been to the cinema enough this year.

Excellent TV has been provided in the form of the fabulously addictive Lost and the genius My Name Is Earl.


At 12:01 am GMT, Anonymous Jay said...

I have FINALLY seen the first episode of My Name is Earl and suffice to say that I LOOOOOVED IT :D

I cracked up laughing when the hooker said "I tried Earl, I did - I even showed him my good boob!" *chuckels* Im looking forward to the rest of the season!!

Also, the Killers comment made me laugh too despite the fact that I rather like the Killers (please dont shoot). Oh c'mon - haaaave you Seeeen the Mormon guy in his black eyeliners?! It's a killer! (I Apologize profusely about the lame pun which randomely blurted out of me)

p.s. Have you considered becoming a critics for a newspaper or a magazine?? I think you'd be rather good at it :)


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